...Ali's Live Journal...

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 00:00:53 GMT

i think 2 days must be the breaking point because now i am an emotional mess. i cant put leaving and all this change out of my mind anymore because 2 people who were such big parts of my life have already left and i already fking miss them and tomorrow is my last full day here......and F*CKKK i should not have taken the posters down from my room today because now my room doesn't look like my room anymore!

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 03:08:30 GMT

An email from a girl on the vassar bball team....please pay special note to number 1:

Hey Freshies!!!

I think I have 2 things to add to Porter's lovely advice:

1) Nudey showers are a team must...so I would highly recommend
practicing
showering naked at home before coming to Vassar!

2) Sometimes we have to run up AND backs (the long way on the
court!!!)
so practice 1 or 2 of those before you come to school!

Peace and love and Harpe and life and stuff
WOOO WOOO!!
Lauren

........nuff said! kill me now god, kill me now.

ps- i'm getting my tonsils taken out tomorrow.....anesthesia and the works! it shall be interesting

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 14:53:02 GMT

mgggh, i'm getting my tonsils taken out next monday.....its supposed to hurt a lot and take at least a week to heal... but i feel like i will be a new and better woman after this is done, so i will suffer for the time being

...haha, i called myself a 'woman'!

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 12:55:16 GMT

ok heres the page that has my songs on it- i can only put 3 at a time, so i'll have to change them everytime I do a new one...:

http://www.purevolume.com/alymcsheehy/

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:17:19 GMT

AHHHHH holy sh*t! Ok folks listen up: AUGUST 12TH FROM 6:30-7:00 I'M GONNA BE PLAYING AT THE BOWERY POETRY CLUB.......all of you HAVE to come pleaseeeeeeee-- its only $5! and its so easy to get there (F frain to Second Ave....right across the street from CBGB's)....even those of you who dont know me/ i dont know have to come! I would really appreciate it bc they told me to "bring a crowd" and that seems like a lot of pressure....

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 23:29:19 GMT

okk, my new song will definitely be done next monday-- today we recorded the guitar and voice....and oh boy, my voice has definitely had better days! but the computer makes it a bit spiffier so its good enough...

ahh and I'm getting a tattoo! i'm designing it myself, and it will in the center of my lower back where i will NEVER have to see it...muahaha poor fools ...

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 04:57:23 GMT

My life has been very strange these past few days.... i've been trying to find out when i'm the happiest --whether its when i'm by myself, with my mother, with kelly, with friends (if so, which ones), or with a significant other and the truth of course is that I HAVE NO FKING IDEA and this is of course annoying....i figure if i stop thinking about it so much, fate will decide it for me, so thats what i'll do

today the drum part was recorded for the newest song i'm recording....russ is doing the first song for free which is good bcuz i feel like its gonna take forever, the way things are going-- and i got a headache from all of the drums that i had to hear! but they are really, really good so i spose cant complain...i have to wait till next monday to record the rest tho...

oh and p.s.- i think everyone should know that i FELL while i was rollerblading yesterday and now my knee is absolutely disgusting....it is still oozing liquids whenever it feels like it... and i fell right at 9th street around all these ghetto kids who were celebrating the 4th of july, but i swear i got up SO fast that i dont even think anyone noticed...and i didnt even feel any pain till i got home, after i walked in to my house and said "mommy, i fell..." So this may be the end of my rollerblading days for awhile.....and this is a shame because i really enjoyed it! especially with my new non-ipod...it was a great time to think and clear my head

pps-- has anyone else read the Davinci code because if they havent they should!

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 03:57:28 GMT

"faded from the winter" and "sodom, south georgia" are my two favorite songs of the moment. i cannotttt stop listening to them!... Tonight was too full of so many different types of SH*T that i cant even BEGINNN to discuss it, so i shant.

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 16:02:24 GMT

Eww it's really gross outside-- i hope it stops raining before i have to lug myself to work....on the other hand, i've become addicted to chai thanx to evan's suggestion and now ive become emotionally dependent on them, and they're really expensive if you have to buy them so work has one good thing going for it.

i made a new screen name: lyf is a highway .... i figured for college i really dont want to have eyerishpridde bcuz...it just annoys me-- and i recently dled the song 'life is a highway' and well, i coudlnt help myself.

Last night went to Jamie Frey's for an after concert get together thing, and green came along which was a change of pace! lets see, i distinctly remember getting water spilt on my face by laney/yelly/walt/walter/walty and then stealing her bag, really good muffins, and drinking 3 rasberry smirnoffs on a porch which i really enjoyed... i have to say i wish i had me a porch! and raspberry smirnoffs are definitely the ONLY thing i'm drinking for now on bcuz they're amazing and its the only thing i dont seem to get sick from. but i've realized drinking is very dangerous because it makes u want to do crazy things with certain peopel that u probably would have sense not to do if u werent drunk....but i was able to control myself and think i escaped w/ a relative amount of dignity and "self-respect." ha alright that's all for now

Sat, 19 Jun 2004 04:33:43 GMT

I've realized that i am never going to happy.... I wish realizing this this helped somehow, but it doesn't! and the worse part is that i know happiness is a choice and have always said that to other people, but my brain simply will never let me be.

ps- the current music, isn't my fault...we've been listening to this motown cd in the bakery over and over again, and this fking song will NOT get out of my head!

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 22:32:37 GMT

i'm sick yet again....and this time my nose is joining in on the fun! had a filling in my tooth redone today...and also a tooth shaved....
too humid out for my liking....tried to practice guitar, but nose kept running...going to beacons closet to buy earrings- then perhaps dinner w/ the missus...

in a coffee shop, in a city...

Sat, 29 May 2004 03:34:45 GMT

felt better today than last night (when i felt like the sun in human form). But today i had a very sore throat...and if its not gone by tomorrow night, then somebody's gonna hafta pay....and that means kelly. speaking of pay, i got my first paycheck today--$93 which was exciting...and my mom was giddy as a school girl when i brought her home all that bread and those baked goods...
i agreed to play at this show at coney island June 19th or 20th...and so now i must go practice, so i do not look like a fool!

"you can't hide behind social graces...."

Wed, 26 May 2004 00:06:13 GMT

Well today was rather long and somewhat stressful....school went by pretty fast-- we're watching a french movie in ap euro which is normally the longest class so it goes by nice and quickly and i always save my orange for that class, which is great...then green came over after school and we tried to decide whether or not we were gonna take these jobs at tasti d-lite/ whether or not we even COULD....and we ended up just confusing ourselves even more and this has still not been decided but the lady's calling tonight so i really don't know what to do! Kelly ate my brother's marijuana plant...and the little post thing that was holding it up too, for that matter...it was growing so nicely, oh well *silent-tear*...
and the murrow kids found another reason to HATE midwood, and i guess i can't say that i blame them-- i just wish i didnt have to spend an entire afternoon with that man tomorrow....okk I have to go and play guitar then hopefully fall asleep so i can stop being so tired...my eyes seriously can't take it anymore-- they feel dry and in pain every single second....then again i just realized i haven't changed my contacts in like 2 months and they're supposed to be changed every 3 weeks...hmmm.... i wish this could have been a more exciting entry!

Ugh.

Wed, 19 May 2004 21:10:25 GMT

Well the results are in....i got the best of borough for music/vocal award ($1,000) for that music scholarhip but i REALLY wanted the $10,000...then again, it's better than nothing.

i will lean into you, and you can be the wind...

Wed, 19 May 2004 19:23:23 GMT

Today was TERRIBLE. But I've already had to repeat the terrible-ness many times so I shant do it again....right now i'm trying to decide how to fill out my dorm application so that i get what i want which i highlyyy doubt is gonna happen no matter how i fill it out.
Tonight's Midwood's "bye bye birdie" which should be interesting...
and Saturday i begin training at Uprising bakery (6AM my friends) and Sunday will be my first real day working there.
Alright, I have been procrastinating since the moment i got home... i have this stock market paper/ graphs thing that i HAVE to do and i'm gonna go right now and try to get it done.

3 cheers for old navy flipflops....;)

Sun, 16 May 2004 13:26:20 GMT

well i'm getting ready to leave for this little shindig in the park....its going to be very interesting one way or another i promise u that!

West side story was amazingggg OF COURSE and it was nice seeing john and diana with big roles--(reppin' fiDdy oNeS.....jk i would NEVER say that)-- and they both were wOnDeRfULlll......AS WAS THE ASSISTANT DIRECTOR.....hehehe okk i'm gonna go

p.s.- it turns out my mother turned the dashboard lights to dim by accident so all is well with the car...and the unicorns i'll be seeing u soon!

ice-age, HEAT WAVEEE, can't complain...

Wed, 12 May 2004 15:52:39 GMT

What a hazy/ stifling day....not my cup a' tea. I saw Andy in the hallway today and he asked what period i was getting out and I didn't know when he WASNT getting out so i said 4th and he said he'd meet me outside cuz he had to talk to me (i.e. ask me for some "hot guy's" number)....so i texted him that i decided to stay till 5th, which i did, and he texted me back to call him, which i didnt....i still might tho, because as I'm writing this I feel annoyingly guilty.

Anyways, the interviews for tasti d-lite are today so me and green get to leave practice early...okk, Kelly's getting antsy so i better go pet her...

ps- does anyone have an extra discman?? because I'm now in possession of 3 separate ones that either DONT work or just shut off randomly yet consistently...

Tue, 11 May 2004 01:54:34 GMT

http://img62.photobucket.com/albums/v188/ldroxmyworld/?action=view¤t=german_street_me_and_ali.jpg

that's me and sara in Germany...i'm the one with a lovely strand of hair in my mouth...

Wed, 05 May 2004 02:05:52 GMT

So I definitely pulled my groin....which means i should have just been resting it all this time instead of even ATTEMPTING to play soccer which i have a hard time with enough as it is... i'm going to the doctor soon just to make sure nothing was torn...

Ms. Lustbader is back in school again, and I'd have to say that it adds to the quality of my life. She makes me feel special, and I really love listening to her stories and yesterday she read someones play w/ a russian accent and i honestly almost died laughing....definitely nobody found it as funny as i did...

Tomorrow i get to go to beacon's closet finally, since there's no practice....and then at 6 i go to the recording place (another finally)....and then when i get back my brother will be home....which means no more last minute "party at ali's" since he will now be occupying his room! it also might mean i dont get to go online as much, which honestly will infuriate me....at least half of our fights are over the computer.

.....thats all i have to say for now, dammit!...wait and also that i hate pimples.

well if everyone else is doing it...

Mon, 03 May 2004 04:12:33 GMT

please don't be upset if you u cant figure these out...:

1. "Oh yea sleep is like a fever, and I'm glad when it ends Oh the road flows like a river And it pulls me round every bend"
2. "The butterflies are passive/aggressive and put their problems on the shelf, But they're so beautiful."
3. "So we trade liquor for blood, in an attempt to tip the scales,
i think you lost what you loved in that mess of details"
4. "Should have been easier by three, our old friend fear and you and me"
5. "nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part"
6. "Pull me out from inside."
7. "You'll take advantage, till you think you're being used"
8. "...everyone else is going somewhere"
9. "if you want it come and get it for crying out loud, the love that i was giving you was never in doubt"
10. "your heart felt good, it was dripping pitch and made of wood"
11. "I'm freezing and losing my way, I don't need another..."
12. "and I wanna be there when you're coming down, and I wanna be there when you hit the ground"
13. "we're chained"
14. "We lived happily forever, so the story goes, but somehow we missed out on that pot of gold, but we'll try best that we can to carry on"
15. "And i don't think that you know what you've been missing, no i dont think that you know what you've been missing"
16. "Now I know I was wrong when I said it was true
that it couldn’t be me and be her in-between with out you with out you"
17. "why is it that lightning strikes so perfectly at night?"
18. "and it's times like these, where silence means everything"
19. "I find a window in the kitchen, and I let myself in"
20. "But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think your death, it must be killin' me"

Sat, 01 May 2004 15:06:12 GMT

Last night was quite a night... it began with me mixing diet dr. pepper with jamaican rum (the very last piece of my father's alcohol from the days of old) then me becoming insanely hyper- accompanied by random screaming... and ended with me exhausted and walking half comatose home to 10th st from the Q train... Jesus Fish Evolution was veryyyyyyyy good-- and it was almost like a 51/321 reunion! so many familiar faces...I hope they play again at some place soon, because I will definitely be there... in all my drunken glory....no no jk, maybe i'll wait till after the show next time.

This morning my mother woke me at 7:45 to go to the park with the dog and her....i went because she seemed so happy and excited to go, that i couldn't say no....we saw mr. milkman my english teacher...kelly ran through the mud (and drank it too) and so i beat her...then we went to connecticut muffin and the 321 fair and i decided once again that i love park slope....but not for the same reason Andy does!

why do i always stuff my face until i'm physically sick?

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 20:37:07 GMT

"the universe is shaped exactly like the earth if you go
straight long enough you'll end up where you were"

i'm getting very tired of taking the train/bus to and from school, which i used to really enjoy. if it weren't for dunkin donuts' dunkachinos that i'm always leaping off the bus to buy, i really don't know how i'd continue...

random thought (as if the previous sentence wasnt random enough!): i wonder if people ever REALLY stop caring about how they look....my therapist says it comes with age-- in that case i have TWO things to look forward in the future(menopause being the other one...haha jk jk) but seriously, sometimes i feel like i can only be in a good mood if i like what i see in the mirror, which is definitely NOT GOOD. its also completely ridiculous considering i honestly DO NOT careeee how other people look so why should i assume that they care how i do? because i'm an idiot! that's why.

I'm really looking forward to this show on friday (especially now that i've discovered a new usage for gatorade bottles). A few of my midwood friends may be coming along which at first scared the crap out of me (as evan aptly put it "when worlds collide") but then i realized if i dont make a big deal out of it, it wont be....

no soccer practice today....

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 19:10:46 GMT

... and see, this is what what always happens-- i THINK that i have all this stuff that i need to do and that now today i'll finally have the chance to catch up on it all.....and then i realize that there really ISNT anything for me to do, so i just spent literally 2 hours playing guitar and i'll probably go back and play it again even though my fingers are in agony. i need to play the three songs i'm gonna record May 5th, perfectly by that time so that when i get to the recording studio I'll be able to record all 3 of them within 2 hours which shant be easy!
ok, in addition to playing guitar i also just spent an entertaining 10 minutes reading other people's live journals (these are mostly people from murrow- some of whom i dont even know because they're user names are not as... original as mine...)and anyways I realized that a lot of people are funnier than i am. this annoys me. Oh well, I'll tell a joke for Rachel sheerhouse anyway: A mushroom walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Um excuse me sir, but you're gonna have to leave..." and the mushroom says, "Why?? i'm a fun-gi!" get it?? eghh, let me try another one....three men walk into a bar: a priest, a pedophile, and a rapist....and that was just the first one!
Anyways I'm just gonna keep writing, so that my fingers have a chance to heal....it sounds like my father is going to let me use our countryhouse to have kids stay over for 3 nights after prom (even though i'm not actually going to this extravaganza...) I think it would be the perfect place to have people bc its big and i wouldn't even mind all the responsibility that would come with having it there...my brother even said he might stop by.... on the other hand, i don't really know why i'm offering to do this because i only like probably half of the midwood people that will end up coming but i guess this way i'll always have an excuse to be cranky which would probably happen anyway...
As of now, I'm getting a nose ring as soon as soccer season ends with my friend erica who's getting one too...i know sadly, this doesn't compare to other piercings that have recently been gotten... but its better than nothing!Actually i'll probably end up taking it out the second i get it done, and it will leave a nice little scar, but so be it, nothing can stop me...
Alright I've defintiely written too much.....maybe i'll write again tonight...hahaha

Hello live journal...it's been awhile

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 02:04:54 GMT

Yea, I don't feel like telling about my trip to Germany for the billionthhhh time so I will sum it up with: homestay = hell but turned out to be good because it made me appreciate each and every second of being in Berlin where ironically the sun was always shining! This week of school flew by I'd have to say...but I feel very detached from Midwood by this point. Apart from soccer and seeing the people I like (there's about 10 of them altogether) I really have no need to be in that place! I did find out that Perka is going to Vassar, though, which makes me very happy...I could be ready to pack up and go to college tomorrow......well actually-- after this summer....

I hate the feeling of being tired and knowing you have at least SOME work to do before you go to sleep plus a shower to take, but instead you find yourself drawn to the computer (I seriously cannot help myself) and before you know it you're downloading a million songs that fit your mood of the moment and soon enough your planning out future mix cds in your head and then you realize that you STILL have ur frikking shinguards on.

I have many other thoughts about my day- many of them things that annoyed me or I found unsettling but this is just like every other day and I don't feel a list coming on at this point in my delirium...so i will say goodnight to you dear live journal! i will see u in my dreams....

Oy

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 03:10:05 GMT

Well, tomorrow I'm leaving....and i really can't stop thinking about how long i'm going to be away for! I don't think I've been away for this long of a period of time once b4 in my LIFE.....and i have the feeling that everyone is going to forget about me, slowly but steadily even if they say they won't. My mother is really annoying me right now, even though she's trying to be nice. She keeps asking annoying questions about things I've packed/ should pack/ where i should pack them/ why i should pack them/ etc. etc....i'm defintiely forgetting a million things, but so be it.
I started reading "High Fidelity" at babysitting, and I really like it -- I plan on finishing it on the plane (which is 7 hourssss long)....oyy, I miss Park slope already. When i get back, life is going to seem so much better-- I'm going to appreciate everything a million times more...and summer....oh boy summer will be a summer to remember, if I have anything to say about it! Ok, I still have a lot to do so I better go... goodbye :(

ps- in the words of the movie "Evita": don't cry for me argentina...the truth is i've never left you...... i could go on with these lyrics, but I wont lol